I was emailing a friend so my speech recognition software was on when my mom came in the room so it recorded what I said to her which was
“You can do what you want you can do what you want mom you can do what you want mom can do what you want mom”
That isn’t an error, I actually kept saying it
She’s having a hard making decisions but at the same time she’s getting used to everyone making decisions and speaking for and despite how badly she always dealt with my disability I’m trying to use my experience to make becoming disabled easier on her. But times like this I don’t know if that’s the best idea.
She was trying to decide where to sit, the couch or the rocking chair. To me it’s an insignificant decision but it gives her overwhelming anxiety and she’s becoming prone to anxiety attacks.
She has a little bit of an ability to recall things if you make them simple and repetitive so I’ve been telling her “you can do what you want” in hopes that when I’m not around she’ll be able to remember “I can do what I want.”
Even though I know she can’t. Not because of her disability but because everyone is stripping her of her autonomy and I was never born with any so I don’t have the ability to advocate for her unless I have someone with me advocating for me, repeating my words out of an able-bodied mouth.
I’ve been able to protect her relatively well but when auntie took her to a home it wasn’t a week before she was raped. It was a month before I found out when they finally gave me the paperwork explaining why she was getting kicked out for being too fussy.