Getting real tired of their shit in general but I got this question on Tumblr and decided to be an asshole. But where is the lie?
It is true that ABs feel entitled to be comfortable and unless it’s on a level in which they have to make a conscious moral decision they will never take anyone else’s comfort into consideration.
I mean, look at them when they stub a toe or something, they have absolutely no tolerance for pain. Especially the old ones.
If someone’s legs are tired they’ll head back to the car instead of following their friend around who insists on window shopping. That’s just not something that’s in our culture to do, we take other people’s feelings into consideration way too much, although it’s necessary because we have to because we have no autonomy.
If an AB couldn’t sit up one morning they would call 911 but even if they didn’t they would just lay there. They would expect family members and friends to immediately jump to do little things like call the doctor or get an ice pack. Especially the men.
Still not as whiny as most of our cis men, but still.
Imagine if one of them said to this person who suddenly couldn’t sit themselves up, “you just aren’t trying hard enough.”
They would have a fit. People would be offended on their behalf. The behavior would be seen as offensive. Offensive to the one who couldn’t get out of bed. The latter isn’t expected to apologize for even asking and for causing trouble. They don’t even thank the other person for the inconvenience them so they the know you know your place. They are less likely to be passive aggressive and do little things like move things out of your reach which result in even worse pain.
And get this, if they took off time from work or school because they couldn’t get out of bed they would use that as an excuse instead of just apologizing and accepting the demerits. It’s even pretty likely that their superiors will accept this excuse and make things more accessible for their special needs like extending due dates.
Isn’t that bizarre?
That sure would’ve come in handy when I was hospitalized unexpectedly in college, I might’ve even been able to stay in school longer than a year.
You put up with more pain on an average day than your loved ones are likely to in a year. They don’t know how much pain you’re in because it’s lost in translation, you speak completely different languages that sound so much alike that we all tend to forget that there is a difference.
“I feel good” means something very different to them than it does to you or I.
Disabled people talk about how they’re feeling physically and emotionally like white people talk about money in polite company; which is not at all.
If you are honest with your loved ones, and they are willing to listen, they may be able to understand that they can’t understand. It’s legitimately not something in their paradigm so as annoying as it is try to be patient but by all means you should let people know how you’re feeling.
Try this: for one week pay close attention to how often ABs talk about pain or health. I would then suggest you try to talk about your own health the same amount the following week but I tried that and I hardly lasted a day before everyone said something to the effect of “but you’re always like that so it’s not a big deal.”
It does feel dehumanizing but the hardest thing for them to understand is why we aren’t terrified. They talk about it so often because it gives them anxiety. They don’t want to see it or hear about it so they anxiously talk about it constantly as if they are hoping not to jinx themselves. It becomes really obvious in things that have simple solutions like taking medication. When ABs refuse to take medicine it can be a little stupefying. Why would they complain about something so much but not do a very simple thing that will either cure it or treat it so it wasn’t as bothersome?
Not that we rush off to the doctor, a lot of it is just take care of our own emergencies which is also a bit stupefying if you look at it objectively. I’ve broken bones and not gone to the doctor, let alone the hospital, and even though I took care of it as well as a doctor would have with the bonus of it being free it was free there are a lot of reasons why I should’ve gone each time, like having the documentation of my injury. But it’s just such a hassle… And I’m tired of signing my name.
That’s how ABs feel about walking.
That’s why a lot of people who become disabled later in life are so intolerable. It’s understandable that they weren’t prepared for the cultural shift but when they go on and on about how it’s not fair… Jesus Christ. And they are the ones all the ABs listen to because they are seen as fallen heroes and that’s why we keep getting shit forced on us like “handicapable”